I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
