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so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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