I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
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Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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