i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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