Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
