So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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