I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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