im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
