'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
