Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
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We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
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I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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