Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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