Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
