The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
