so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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