I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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