guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need to align my fucking chakras
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
