u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
