Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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