never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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