problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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