morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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