Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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