Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
