he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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