She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
