just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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