3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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