he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
