I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
