i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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