i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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