the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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