Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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