Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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