I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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