You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
