Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
