my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had to cum in my sink.
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