i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
