this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
