he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
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Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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