He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
