I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
