Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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