Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
