i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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