I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
