Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
