I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
