i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
