thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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