is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
