we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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