Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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