You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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