You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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