The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
