i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
