So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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