Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize