I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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