Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
