nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
