Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
